I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
Randomize
