we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
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