And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
