What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
He kissed a someone with a penis
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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