okay pat passed out under dana's car
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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