Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Randomize
