Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
