I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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