hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
