Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
Randomize
