Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
