...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
you traded sex for a burrito?
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
How does one acquire holy water?
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
