piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
