Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
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