I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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