she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
im gonna put my furry chinchilla vagina on her mother effing nose
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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