think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
