I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
