the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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