I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
