I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Randomize
