I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
we shared soup. that is literally the extent of my romantic life right now
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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