why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
oh god was she eating orange peels again
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Randomize
