I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize