I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
