M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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