Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize
