Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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