she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
