I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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