I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I met a guy last night who bought me a book on Amazon at the bar and then we had sex. Boners for books is a thing. Boom.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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