Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You took a bar mat shot.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You're gonna be proud in the future that you fucked the next bill gates
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Randomize