We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
