i just wanna soil my oats bro
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
