so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize