belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
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