What did we do last night that was yellow?
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
i now understand why vodka
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Randomize
