I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
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