I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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