I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Randomize
