roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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