ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
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