is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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