I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
