a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
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that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
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Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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