So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
