I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
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did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
I just found puke in my bra..
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
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We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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