I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
