I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize