I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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