how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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