your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
