...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
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