Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Randomize
