I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
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