i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
Wingman of the year award. I made out with her gay roommate in order for you to get laid. Better have been good.
The gay roommate was probably better than her. Consider yourself lucky.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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