We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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