i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
pop tarts are not kleenex
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
