just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
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