she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
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