Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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