If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Randomize
