fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize