I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
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