Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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