Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Randomize
